Welcome Friends to Week 1 of Turbozo’s Football locks and wagering advice channel. You are all probably asking yourselves, “Self, why should I listen to Turbozo for Football wagering advice”? Well, I’ll tell you why….I’m good, I don’t just mean ‘The Pats will beat the Chiefs’ good….I mean SCARY GOOD.
After perfecting the dangerous art of time travel in 1996, I have been working in a humanitarian capacity for some time by going to the future and making slight alterations for the betterment of our planet. Internet Porn…you’re welcome. GW Bush’s failed plan to end term limits for ‘Deciders’ – narrow escape there, but again…your’s truly at work. I won’t even get into the Girls Gone Wild project…anyway my point is folks, I’m tired and quite frankly broke. (Time travel = Very Expensive…you may not have known that)
So to recoup costs, I will simply be going back through my deftly acquired 2010 Sports Almanac each week (ala Marty McFly) and kindly enough will share with you, the good people of Northern Bloggington, the winners vs. the spread of several Football Games.
The second question that enters one mind is obvious….what if Turbozo is being less that 100% truthful regarding his sources and prognosticational guarantees? But honestly, who would make this stuff up.
Lastly, Gambling is a disease and if you wager on the outcome of future events to provide or supplement income…Stop reading this Blog!!!! Go to a meeting, get a puppy and take up an outdoor hobby, because you are probably fat as hell and sleeping on an uncomfortable couch somewhere. Wagering on sporting events of any kind with any stakes should be a form of entertainment which adds a different facet of enjoyment to following the game. Any thing more serious is construable as a problem.
With that out of the way, lets bricky break it down for NCAA Week #2 and NFL Week #1.
There is some easier money out there this week and I figure betting vs. the spread on a 5 game parlay will payoff nicely. So lets lock one in for you…shall we.
Game #1 – OHIO (+34.5) – Its simple, this is a tune up game for the Buckeyes, no Wells, no scheming. After last week they just want to get everyone back in the locker room healthy and that won’t afford a margin of this size. 24, yep…28, sure, but it won’t be a 5 TD margin. Dr. Lovelock.
Game #2 – SAN DIEGO ST. (+20) -- Ok, this is my Anti-Fanboy alert pick. I am a professed ND fan, but Charlie’s Angels haven’t shown me dic lately and I am not convinced they won’t have trouble winning this game, much less taking it by 20…The Amazing Lockerini.
Game #3 – ARIZONA (NFL) (-2.5) – Kurt Warner with weapons vs. J.T. O’Sullivan and Frank Gore. The only player doing anything for S.F. this game will be Click Clack and the Cards will take this one by more than a field goal easy. Locktastic!
Game #4 – NY Jets (-3) – Farve and a healthy Tomas Jones will be more than enough to take care of the Tunafish. Pennington will need a game or two and Ricky Williams is most likely going to be the featured back. Not enough offense for Miami and not enough defense for Miami Jets take this by double digits. Uncle Lockery!
Game #5 – INDIANAPOLIS (-9) – Wow, this one could get brutal. I am sniffing a 30-3 sort of affair, but whatever it is…well beyond the modest 9pt line. Newsflash…I do bong hits with Manning…he was never hurt. Anyway, as a bonus for all you guys looking for better value…grab the under on this game. Only one team will be scoring.
That’s it folks, have fun…give the money to charity and if you feel like it, post a comment, argue with my Almanac up to game time if you want and as always….HAVE FUN…it is a game involving guessing about another game, so don’t take it too seriously in the heart or the wallet.